does any one know how to change the itemselected in that control via coding

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For question asking, please made sure that your question is as similar as possible while providing enought level of details!
Since not all peoples, like to read large amounts of text just for reading or requirement and waste the answer time to read your text

Please restate your question, it is not clear what you want to do.

I would like to change selected item in dropdownlist in code.

e.g.

a page with a dropdownlist contain a list of month name, I would like to set the current month as selected item

Use dropdownlist SelectedValue or SelectedIndex property to set the item selected.