You are absolutely correct! That was the issue. All I needed to do was go into the DSN setup, fake a System DSN to get to the Client Configuration, and then make sure TCP/IP was selected, which it was, and then cancel out. That was it! I didn't even make a change, I just opened that screen and hit OK. Apparently Named Pipes is the default and I needed TCP/IP.
This problem ranks right up at the top of the frustration to bullcrap ratio!