I wish I can be of more help. I have always avoided "edit in grid" controls, and databound controls in VB6. This also goes for the .NET environment. I've been attending a programming conference this weekend and some of the speakers are saying this is now working nicely in .NET 2.0 - but I'm going to do a lot of experimenting with it before I recommend it.
So - what can you do? Someone else here will need to recommend something. I am pretty certain that there are api calls that can be made to provide some of these features - but you will be looking at a lot of work if you have to go that way.
My normal approach is to make an edit form - the user selects an item in the list, selects edit with a context menu or button or whatever, and then edits it in a separate dialog. It keeps things very easy to control. Editing in place in a grid can be difficult to control - it is much more likely to cause bugs and odd behaviors.
Good luck to you - hopefully someone else here is ready to help.
Have fun
Woody Z
http://www.learntoprogramnow.com