uhhh accessing DSN's across the web is NOT a good idea, not even a little bit. Because, one way or another, you are going to have to send authentication information across the net and even if you encrypt it, I still wouldnt suggest doing it. (How many Algorithms HAVENT been cracked yet)
You best bet would to be to setup an RSS feed on one domain so that you can access it from the other and vice versa. (After all, this is what RSS and XML are for, data exchange)
"The one language all programmers understand is profanity."