How can ia handle flash event using java ;
Such as when i click on ok button then an action will
erformed which will be handled by java .

one more thing how can i give java window an interactive look
such as circle or triangle type window (which is created by flash
, photoshop , 3dmax etc.)

To have java (server side) handle an event (client side) I would recommend calling a javaScript function from Flash that initiates a AJAX call to the JSP page you want to initialize the code on.